Erotic massage is an excellent way to tap into sensuality — Erotic massage, also called sensual massage, is similar to mindful masturbation in that it encourages practitioners to be present and in the moment with eroticism. The ‘goal’ of an erotic massage, if there is one, isn’t necessarily to orgasm. It is for partners to be present with pleasure, together. Orgasm…

A hands-on guide to being present with pleasure. — Mindful masturbation is a lot what it sounds like: using mindfulness to focus your attention — in this case, on self-pleasure. Adding mindful masturbation to your solo sex practice has many benefits, some of which can be truly transformative for your sex life. Mindful masturbation helps you: overcome distractions during…

How sex positive are you, really? 80 questions to help you figure it out. — Content warning: This article includes questions about your views on bodies, reproduction, sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual preferences, as well as references to non-consensual sexual experiences. Please exercise self-care and take breaks or skip sections as needed. Wondering where you land on the scale of…

We can’t have the sex we want if we don’t ask for it. — In my work as a sex coach, about 80% of the issues people bring to me boil down to one problem: We don’t know how to talk about sex. Whether we’re unsure of how to ask for what we want, don’t have the words to describe our desires, or even…

Practice cucking without a third…or even a second. — Google searches for “cuckold” have trended upward in the last 20 years, indicating an increased interest in this fun form of kink. Yet for many people, this curiosity invites frustration. …

Why everyone can (and should) try strapping on at least once. — HEADS UP: This article has had erotic images removed for Medium. To see the original version with images, read it here. It’s easy to think that strap-ons are only for lesbians and pegging. If that’s all that comes to mind when you hear about strap-on sex, though, buckle up. …

How to tell whether a sex coach can actually help you. — Over a decade ago, I had an internet friend who would have been the perfect target for a sex coach’s marketing campaign. He and his girlfriend tried something new in the bedroom one night. Right as things were really heating up, though, his penis gave out on him. “I wanted…

AKA: How to not be a polyamorous unicorn hunter. — Let’s get something important out of the way here: Threesomes are way easier to coordinate than a closed polyamorous triad. closed: an exclusive relationship polyamorous: loving connections between more than two people triad: a relationship including three people It’s true. And if you’ve ever tried to coordinate a threesome, you…

A primer for the uninitiated. Lately, I’ve seen increased chatter about ethical nonmonogamy on social media. With more chatter often comes more understanding — but also sometimes more misunderstanding. As someone who has been practicing and writing about ethical nonmonogamy since 2007, and also as someone…