Mindful masturbation rewires your brain for better sex. — A couple weeks ago, I appeared on Secular Sexuality to talk about one of my favorite topics: masturbation! One thing that came up quite a few times was how easy it is for anyone to improve their sex life by setting aside time for intentional self-pleasure. In particular, an…

Linguistically, a lot has happened in the last 50 years when it comes to conversations about nonmonogamy. — The terms ethical nonmonogamy and consensual nonmonogamy are both used to describe the same thing. In a nutshell, they refer to relationships that: involve more than two people, who all agree to the relationship structure. The second part is what makes these non-traditional relationships ‘ethical’ or ‘consensual’. …

We need to stop thinking about consent as a strictly sexual topic. — This week, I’m kicking off a series of posts about consent. It won’t be the only thing I write about for the next few weeks, but expect it to come up a few times. For Part 1, I want to cover some consent basics, including why consent actually has very…

Erotic massage is an excellent way to tap into sensuality — Erotic massage, also called sensual massage, is similar to mindful masturbation in that it encourages practitioners to be present and in the moment with eroticism. The ‘goal’ of an erotic massage, if there is one, isn’t necessarily to orgasm. It is for partners to be present with pleasure, together. Orgasm…

A hands-on guide to being present with pleasure. — Mindful masturbation is a lot what it sounds like: using mindfulness to focus your attention — in this case, on self-pleasure. Adding mindful masturbation to your solo sex practice has many benefits, some of which can be truly transformative for your sex life. Mindful masturbation helps you: overcome distractions during…

How sex positive are you, really? 80 questions to help you figure it out. — Content warning: This article includes questions about your views on bodies, reproduction, sexual orientation, gender identity, and sexual preferences, as well as references to non-consensual sexual experiences. Please exercise self-care and take breaks or skip sections as needed. Wondering where you land on the scale of…

We can’t have the sex we want if we don’t ask for it. — In my work as a sex coach, about 80% of the issues people bring to me boil down to one problem: We don’t know how to talk about sex. Whether we’re unsure of how to ask for what we want, don’t have the words to describe our desires, or even…

Practice cucking without a third…or even a second. — Google searches for “cuckold” have trended upward in the last 20 years, indicating an increased interest in this fun form of kink. Yet for many people, this curiosity invites frustration. …

Why everyone can (and should) try strapping on at least once. — HEADS UP: This article has had erotic images removed for Medium. To see the original version with images, read it here. It’s easy to think that strap-ons are only for lesbians and pegging. If that’s all that comes to mind when you hear about strap-on sex, though, buckle up. …