8 Lifestyle Dating Tips for Women Over 35

Swiping outside the box in your 30s, 40s, and beyond? Read this.

Shannon Burton, SXI (they/she)
8 min readMay 1, 2023

Whether swinging or kinking, seeking a Dom or a pan-poly-switch, dating in the lifestyle comes with its own etiquette and expectations.

the lifestyle: formerly used in reference to swinging, this term now frequently refers to kink, BDSM, ENM, polyamory, cuckolding, and other unconventional relationship practices

The tips below are valuable for people of any age or gender (and most apply in vanilla dating, too).

However, I wanted to really home in on some of the specific things I see coming up for sexually adventurous women my age and above.

After chatting with others like me who are dating in these scenes, here are the most important takeaways I’ve found. Be sure not to miss #8!

1. Don’t let age get you down.

Photo by cottonbro

There’s something about being over 35 (or 45, 55, 65…) that really gets to people’s heads. Our lives may look nothing like we expected them to at our age, and for some that invites insecurity.

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Shannon Burton, SXI (they/she)

Sexual Empowerment Coach for Women+🌈 Explore, embrace, and expand your sexuality with virtual, talk-based coaching. Find resources at sexcoachshannon.com