Am I Asexual or is it Low Libido?
How to tell the difference between asexuality and low sex drive.
One question I sometimes get when meeting clients with low (or no) interest in sex is: “Am I asexual?”
My answer? Maybe!
But also…maybe not.
Asexuality and low libido can look and feel alike. However, there are some key differences between them.
Let’s explore the differences between being asexual and having a low sex drive, starting with some definitions.
What is asexuality?
Being asexual, or ace, seems simple on the surface.
A quick internet search defines asexual as:
“experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone.”
However, this is a very limited definition of asexuality.
To truly understand what being asexual means, it’s helpful to think of it as a spectrum.
Some ace folks enjoy masturbation while others do not. Some choose to have sex for reasons other than desire, and others do not.
Additionally, some asexual people may:
- experience sexual desire once they have formed a strong emotional bond (demisexual)
- experience sexual desire sometimes, or at levels that feel in-between sexual and asexual (gray-ace)
Asexual people can and often do experience romantic attraction. Some may not, however, and may identify as aromantic.
Being asexual doesn’t mean someone can’t have healthy, happy, and fulfilling relationships. With good communication and compatible partners, many ace folks enjoy successful long-term partnerships.