Enjoy Guilt-Free Polyamory with Healthy Boundaries

Highly empathetic people often experience unearned guilt. Let’s let go of that.

Shannon Burton, SXI (they/she)
11 min readJan 30, 2024

While writing Jealousy is a Polyamorist’s Best Friend, one thing that kept coming up in my conversations was guilt in polyamory.

Which kind of blew my mind. Over a decade ago, I wrote a personal blog post about polyamory and guilt that I still get emails about from time to time.

Guilt in polyamory comes in many flavors. Today, I want to talk about:

  • addressing healthy guilt vs. unearned guilt
  • overcoming the “shoulds” behind most poly guilt
  • what to do when you feel guilty about someone else’s feelings

Let’s start by getting clear on what we’re talking about.

What is Guilt?

Guilt is a natural, social emotion based in empathy.

Where jealousy points inward to our unmet needs, guilt points outward to…

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Shannon Burton, SXI (they/she)

Sexual Empowerment Coach for Women+🌈 Explore, embrace, and expand your sexuality with virtual, talk-based coaching. Find resources at sexcoachshannon.com